Open to Criticism, in Thesaurian English

Logodrome is bare to Bronx cheer.  Give us your old ideas; watch us goad them with sharp new words.
  April 16, 2003

(Note: If you get confused, skip to the explanation.)  Logodrome is bare to common and exclusive Bronx cheer.  There is a lot of amorousness among cats who evolve particular Web hangouts, and a lot of applause and agreeable expression.  It can be bothersome to chalk to the cattle about what you don’t care for, what you covet to see bettered.  I think a lot of that is for apprehensiveness of burning the narrator’s behavior.

However, I conceive a captious feeling is cardinal for coining beauteous, consequential creation.  It’s no buffoonery being apprised you’re not an awe-inspiring crafty adept, but it is recurrently awfully collectible.

So I’m broadcasting that if you covet to chalk something antagonistic or cacophonous or bad-tempered or simply captious about the creation I’m bringing about, you should edge forward and bring it about and not despair as to being attractive or burning my behavior.

If you covet to exploit the “bare to Bronx cheer” cartoon on your inherent Web surface, edge forward and ditto it, and fasten the button either to this allegation or to your inherent one.  Let me be cognizant; if a bellyful of people exploit it I’ll bloat this into a ballot of hangouts.

I did chew over annexing baretobronxcheer.bod—it’s attainable—and constructing a berth where web narrators and craftsmen who were bare to Bronx cheer could enroll, and endwise I conceive that would be an attractive equity for the cats-essaying-to-bring-about-agreeable-entities-on-the-web, just a diminutive info-headquarters ex with handler, open sesame, questionnaire, and a brusque definition.  But I commonly can’t have any more realm cognomens.  If someone else coveted to bring it about I’d aid, and conceivably calculate a chunk.

In this course it can all be concerned with colony for those of them who covet that and about bettering the class of the creation for those of us who covet that, you catch on?  The elemental conjecture is that substance on the Web can be passably agreeable to make Bronx cheer excellent.

(I am stolidly not delineating Bronx cheer; it could be captious clarification, elongated disquisitions on configuration and substance, or “this imbibes.”  All are collectible in their style).

* * *

The statement above is written in Thesaurian English, derived by replacing all original meaning-carrying words with their synonyms from a thesaurus.  For the most part, I left alone auxiliary verbs and other supporting elements of the sentence structure: I was after the meat, not the bones.  You should still be able to discern the shape of the text, although now it bulges in all the wrong places.  To spice things up, I used not the first but the fifth from each group of synonyms.  Sometimes this made the text hiccup unpleasantly, so I broke the formula with much creative abandon.  Behold the results!

The original text is a statement of openness to criticism from the excellent Ftrain.  Logodrome, too, is open to criticism.  By stating it in such a perspicuously garbled fashion, I’m paying homage to Ftrain’s Paul Ford, who seems a chap to enjoy occasional verbal frolicking, as well as to my last days of gainful employment which I firmly intend to waste on watching birds out the window and on literary onanism.  Buffoonery, indeed!

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